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Vecar
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 14.11.2004
: 315
: Çåëåíîãðàä

: , 18, 2006 7:56pm     :

not jokes, actually, but rather interesting:
Say not "I have found the truth", but rather, "I have found a truth."
/Kahlil Gibran

It's very easy to "take it easy", when you have nothing to take easy.
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals
Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 21, 2006 12:37am     :

Vecar ():
It's very easy to "take it easy", when you have nothing to take easy.


Ýòî âðîäå êàê:

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. - Oscar Wilde

Óëûáêà
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Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 21, 2006 12:38am     :

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland.

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?

"Suspicion of anything foreign."
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Vecar
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 14.11.2004
: 315
: Çåëåíîãðàä

: , 12, 2006 2:37pm     :

By giving us the opinion of the uneducated, [journalism] keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community
Oscar Wilde

There is no gravity. The earth sucks.

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
(Ñëîâåíñêàÿ ïîãîâîðêà)

It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life.
(Èðëàíäñêàÿ Óëûáêà )

His absence is good company.
(Èíäèéñêàÿ)

If you seek a reputation for wisdom, agree with everyone.
(Åâðåéñêàÿ)

He promised me earrings, but he only pierced my ears.
(Øîòëàíäñêàÿ)

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go to the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals
Vecar
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 14.11.2004
: 315
: Çåëåíîãðàä

: , 14, 2006 5:12pm     :

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Phillips
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals
Vecar
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 14.11.2004
: 315
: Çåëåíîãðàä

: , 17, 2006 5:22pm     :

In an attempt to put a halt to the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has decided to bomb the Canary Islands.
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals
White Owl
Øòàòíûé çàíóäà


: 10.03.2003
: 2452
: USA, New York City

: , 24, 2006 5:09pm     :

Àâòîð, óâû íåèçâåñòåí.

There were forty-five of us in that Russian class thinking varying versions of the same thing when the teacher, a rangy Alabaman named “Tiger” Titus, entered the room. After a formal “Good morning” he went straight to the front of the room and wrote the Russian (Cyrillic) alphabet on the blackboard.
You could feel the group’s spirit sink notch by notch as each of Russian’s “funny looking” letters appeared. Students were allowed under university rules to abandon a course and get themselves into another as long as they did it within three days after the beginning of the term. We had defections from Russian class in mid-alphabet. By the time Tiger Titus turned around to face us, he had fewer students than had entered the room.
“My soul!” exclaimed one of the deserters when I caught up with him at the cafeteria later that day. “I’ve never seen anything like that Russian alphabet before in my life. Why, they’ve got v’s that look like b’s, n’s that look like h’s, u’s that look like y’s, r’s that look like p’s, and p’s that look like sawed off goal posts. They got a backwards n that’s really an e and an x that sounds like you’re gagging on a bone. They got a vowel that looks like the number sixty-one, a consonant that looks like a butterfly with its wings all the way out, and damned if they don’t even have a B-flat!”
The next day there were no longer forty-five members of the university’s first Russian class. There were five.
    e-mail MSN Messenger
Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 14, 2006 9:18pm     :

Êàëàìáóð÷èê. Óëûáêà

A man went to a zoo but all it had was a dog.
It was a Shitzu.
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Vecar
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 14.11.2004
: 315
: Çåëåíîãðàä

: , 14, 2006 7:29pm     :

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals
Andrew
Ãëàâíûé òðåïà÷


: 01.03.2003
: 10421
: Èðêóòñê, RU -> Los Angeles, US

: , 11, 2007 2:51am     :

Ïîëó÷èë âîò ïî ïî÷òå:

:



>Subject: fwd: California



>
>You know you're from Southern California when...
>
>1) Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
>
>2) You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
>
>3) You don'</st1:PersonName>t know anyone<st1:PersonName w:st="on">'s
phone number unless you check your cell phone.
>
>4) You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.
>
>5) You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know
damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).
>
>6) Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance,
takes about "twenty minutes"
>
>7) You drive to your neighborhood block party.
>
>Êëàññíî In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same
day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe sunburn.
>
>9) You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
>
>10) If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're
definitely driving.
>
>11) Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
>
>12) You know what "In-<st1:PersonName w:st="on">'</st1:PersonName>N-Out" is
and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
>
>13) You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
>
>14) You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
>
>15) You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you don't remember at
least 1 of them.
>
>16) You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
>
>17) You eat pineapple on pizza.
>
>1Êëàññíî Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your
head.
>
>19) You think that Venice is a beach.
>
>20) The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
>
>21) You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
>
>22) You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would
never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class.
Best area codes: "949" and "714."Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because
it stinks there.
>
>23) You call 911 and they put you on hold.
>
>24) You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
>
>25) The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
>
>26) You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It
doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are
just better than them, for whatever reason.
>
>27) You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a
McDonald's or a Starbucks.
>
>2Êëàññíî You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
>
>29) You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
>
>30) It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:
"STORM WATCH".
>
>31) The Terminator is your governor.
>
>32) It's extremely weird if someone tells you that they've never been
surfing.
>
>33) You have a tan line from your flip flops.
>
>34) It reaches 60 degrees, you're freezing.
>
>35) You go to fast food, you buy bottled water, instead of drinking tap.
>
>36) Your high school has at least 2,500 people enrolled.
>
>37) Sitting in traffic is normal.
>
>3Êëàññíî You over use "sweet", "dude", "right on", and "cool."
>
>39) Going to Disneyland is normal.
>
>40) You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
California.


Ñàìîå çàáàâíîå, ÷òî ìíîãèå èõ ýòèõ ïðèêîëîâ óæå êàæóòñÿ î÷åíü ðîäíûìè è ïîíÿòíûìè Óëûáêà Ïðî àâòî-ïðèêîëû òîëüêî ïîêà íå ïðîíèêñÿ çà íåèìåíèåì ñîáñòâåííîãî àâòî.
_________________
Àíäðåé Ãåðàñèìîâ
Slava
ÍËÎ


: 10.03.2003
: 4182
: at this moment Stamford CT

: , 11, 2007 2:52pm     :

Îñîáåííî 40å äëÿ òåáÿ ïîäîøëî Ñìåõ
_________________
Good judgment comes from expirience.
Expirience comes from bad judgment
    e-mail
Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 14, 2007 12:40am     :

How do you identify a bald eagle? All of his feathers are combed to one side.
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